Monty Python's Life of BrianDVD - 2007
Monty Python delivers the group's sharpest and smartest satire of both religion and Hollywood's epic films. Set in 33 A.D. Judea where the exasperated Romans try to impose order, it is a time of chaos and change with no shortage of messiahs and followers willing to believe in them. At its center is Brian Cohen, born in Bethlehem in a stable next door, who, by a series of absurd circumstances is caught up in the new religion and reluctantly mistaken for the promised messiah, providing ample opportunity for the entire ensemble to shine in multiple roles as they question everyone and everything from ex-lepers, Pontius Pilate and haggling to revolutionaries, crazy prophets, religious fanaticism, Roman centurions and crucifixion, forever changing our biblical view.
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(A crowd is listening to Jesus speak) Mrs. Big Nose: "Don't pick your nose!" Mr. Big Nose: "I wasn't pickin' my nose! I was scratchin' it!" Mrs. Big Nose: "You was pickin' it, while you was talkin' to that lady!" Mr. Big Nose: "I wasn't!" Mrs. Big Nose: "Leave it alone! Give it a rest!" Stan: "Do you mind? I can't 'ear a word he's sayin'!" Mrs. Big Nose: "Don't you 'Do you mind' me! I was talkin' to my 'usband!" Stan: "Well, go and talk to 'im somewhere else! I can't 'ear a bloody thing!" Mr. Big Nose: "Don't you swear at my wife!" Stan: "I was only askin' 'er to shut up, so we can 'ear what he's sayin', 'Big Nose'." Mrs. Big Nose: "Don't you call my 'usband 'Big Nose'!" Stan: "Well, he 'as got a big nose!" Man #1 (trying to hear Jesus): "Would you be quiet, please. What was that?" Stan: "I don't know; I was too busy talkin' to 'Big Nose'." Man #2: "I think it was: 'Blessed are the cheese-makers'!" (cont'd)
(A crowd is listening to Jesus speak) (cont'd) Wife: "What's so special about the cheese-makers?" Husband: "Well, obviously, it's not meant to be taken literally -- it refers to any manufacturer of... dairy products." Stan: "See? If you 'adn't been goin' on, we'd 'ave 'eard that, 'Big Nose'!" Mr. Big Nose: "Say that once more -- I'll smash your bloody face in!" Stan: "Better keep listening; might be a bit about 'Blessed are the Big Noses'." Brian: "Lay off him!" Stan: "Oh, you're not so bad yourself, cock-face... Where are you two from? 'Nose City'?" Mr. Big Nose: "One more time, mate! I'll take you to the f*ckin' cleaners!" Mrs. Big Nose: "Language! And don't pick your nose!"
Brian: I am NOT the Messiah!
Arthur: I say you are Lord, and I should know. I've followed a few.
Brian: Have I got a big nose, Mum?
Brian?s mother: Stop thinking about sex!
Brian: I wasn't!
Brian?s mother: You're always on about it. "Will the girls like this? Will the girls like that? Is it too big? Is it too small? "
Reg: All right, but apart from the sanitation, medicine, education, wine, public order, irrigation, roads, the fresh water system and public health, what have the Romans ever done for us?
Attendee: Brought peace?
Reg: Oh, peace - shut up!
Reg: There is not one of us who would not gladly suffer death to rid this country of the Romans once and for all.
Dissenter: Uh, well, one.
Reg: Oh, yeah, yeah, there's one. But otherwise, we're solid.