GrandmaDVD - 2016
Elle, who has just gotten through breaking up with her girlfriend when Elle's granddaughter Sage unexpectedly shows up needing $600 bucks before sundown. Temporarily broke, Grandma Elle and Sage spend the day trying to get their hands on the cash as their unannounced visits to old friends and flames end up rattling skeletons and digging up secrets.
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"Karl: You know the teeth are the only thing we see on a person that'll still look the same when they're dead. When somebody smiles at ya, it's like they're showing you their skeleton."
Bonobo Apes - learn more at http://www.bonobo.org/bonobos/what-is-a-bonobo/
Granddaughter: What's a Bonobo?
Grandma: A very advanced ape. The females run the show, they masturbate all the time...
...and they don't have wars, unlike chimps and humans.
GD: So you think women are better than men?
GM: Men are okay. My father was a man.
GD: Mine was a sperm.
GM: Donor. Your mom was busy. Don't blame her for that. It was a valid decision. At least the sperm didn't black your eye because you talked back.
-- I don't know why.
- Because you just want power. You wanna exert your dominance over me. You want to be the alpha Bonobo.
- You know, you're not a Bonobo, Carla. You're a gorilla. You are a silverback male gorilla.
-- "Dragonfly" was one of my favorite poems. "You bite my wings, Attack me midflight. Evolution's knife Pressed to my throat."
- Yes, that is the one that gets anthologized. Not my favorite, honestly, on a technical level.
-- How come you stopped writing?
- People stopped reading.
-- Do you have a credit card?
- You know, I cut my credit cards up into little pieces. I made a wind chime out of them.
-- Why would you do that?
- I'm transmogrifying my life into art.
-- Oh, my G... You know, what kind of adult doesn't have a credit card?
- This adult. Credit cards infantilize you. They turn you into a pod person.
- You're well past menopause. We both are.
-- It's painful seeing you, because it makes me feel old.
- Oh. I like being old. Young people are stupid.
-- We sure were. We sure were stupid.
He'd find the money if he thought he was gonna swell up...like he swallowed a watermelon.
-You know, you have a real anger problem.
-No. No, I don't. I have an asshole problem. When people are assholes, I get angry.
- So, what's the O stand for?
- Well, O is a big letter for women. Ovaries. Origami. Openness. Orifice. Cheerios. Hello. Old. Oven. Odd. Ossuary. Out.
-- Am I gonna go to hell?
-- Am I gonna go to hell? What if it's true?
- What are you talking about? Along with all the millions of other women who've had abortions?
-- Yeah. Along with them.
- I don't believe in a vengeful God.
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